Thursday, March 22, 2012

Letter to my little one-3

Its already more than 5 months dear since you popped out of your hibernation. And your lazy mum has not even written one post for you. A crime that is ! But hope you will learn to forgive me sooner than later :P

Our lives have changed since we saw you live , on 4th Oct 2011. When you were born , I could not really believe it happened. Somehow I thought the process was quicker but more painful than the first time. And when the doctor said its a girl , I thought it must all have been a dream. Has God really granted my wish ? My desperate wish to have you as a girl. I looked at your papa and asked again , its a girl ???? He said yes , but I could still not trust. After a few moments the nurse showed me your face and I felt that nothing can be cuter , prettier than this baby in the entire world. "Kitni pyari hai na ?" , I asked your father wanting nothing but an affirmation, which obviously came , as if he had a choice.

When they gave you for nursing after about 20 mins or so , I could not stop seeing you , still trying to believe that you are my girl !! A part of me asked why I am so excited and emotional , this is my second baby and I know what to expect and another part of mine said that , yes I knew , but its a girl , a pretty little one , plus I love her as much as I loved Aryan. Yeah that was one tiny fear that would come off and on ..will I be able to love my second one as much I loved Aryan? But the moment I saw you , I knew the answer.

After all the process was over and I was finally on my own , I realized that my eyes are wet with satisfaction and happiness !

Hospital

Your stay in hospital was more or less uneventful. You remained a good baby just like your brother , giving me enough rest , napping peacefully , sometimes in your cradle and sometimes on my bed. I remember the scared face of the nurse when she saw you sleeping next to me. She asked me , if I can sure take care of you. She was satisfied when I told that this my second one and I will be careful not to have her hand or leg under my HUGE body :-)
And we came home on 6th Oct 2011 , Dushera. Your dadu , dadi and bhaiya greeted you with aarti and flowers. Kheer was made in your welcome and to my surprise , even I was allowed to have it :)

The first month

After 2 days of stay with dadu dadi they went to meet your 4 days elder cousin and your nani came to see you. You bonded with her so well. You would be happy in her room. Would chat endlessly with her. Would sleep next to her when I could not make you sleep. It was a pleasant sight to see you both curled on the edge of a huge double bed.

When you were barely 17 days old , you had your first flight to delhi. And you met your entire extended family except your mama mami. You met your twin cousin and it was pleasant sight to have 2 of you side by side. It was instantly concluded that you were brat and "gambhir" and she was smiling and "shaant" , as if you cared :P You continued to be a brat throughout the trip , crying at the drop of hat :) But who are we to blame you , a tiny little one anyways has a lot to adjust with and you were being exposed to so many new faces, sounds, weathers. I am proud that you braved it all !! We came back home after your first diwali and family get togethers :)

Second to fourth month

We were on our own. You and I. Your bhaiya would go to school and your papa to office. And we have a good time with each other. With no one around , I really felt you , smelt you hugged you and kissed you. We bonded like no one else. The moment I recall that this won't last when I start work , I would shudder. How will I manage without seeing you ?

You bonded so well with your brother as well. He will climb on your crib and talk to you endlessly. Or he will have you on his bed (HIS bed only) and sing "Dhingachika" to you. Sometimes you would spend an hour with each other. It was your private time and I was called only when a nappy change / burp was required. I also looked forward to this time for two selfish reasons , one , it was so rewarding to see you both happy and content just being with each other , two , I had some time of my own ..15 mins at a stretch before another nappy change :) How he worries and takes care of you is beyond my imagination. He would run around the house to fetch nappies and towels. He would change sheets in your crib and cradle. He would check you every 5 mins , sometimes every 5 seconds to see if you are wet. He would shout louder than you when you are uncofortable , "mumma dekho isse kya ho gaya..jaldi"

Your papa had little time with you but whatever time you had with each other you spent them fruitfully. You both would inspect each other's face for changing expressions. You would flaunt your million dollar smile and he would swell in pride. Your eyes would glitter and he would realize his love for you. However no one can disturb your dad when he has a news paper in his hand or when he is deep in his thoughts. On such times , you would sit happily in his lap and READ the paper with him. Or you would sit on his arm on his side as he paced up and down the living room in his thoughts. You never disturb him with crying or blabbering. I realized that just being with him means a lot to you and no words or constant blabbering is necessary. And with your dad's constant effort and loads and loads of patience you achieved another milestone. You learnt to feed yourself with a bottle , making me feel relaxed , happy and sad. Ofcourse someday you would understand why happy and sad at the same time.

Fifth month to now

I started working however not for full day. The uncertainities at work have allowed me to spend little extra time with you but even then I stay away for good 4-5 hours. You have been managing well , initially with dadu dadi and now just with dadi.

After the hospital days , you never really liked to sleep next to me. Believe me, I never slept over your arm but probably you understood the nurse :-P. You are happy when you sleep in your cradle and restless on the bed. So you sleep in your cradle at most times, even nights. When hungry you don't cry but you call. I love your way of doing so. You actually don't cry for hunger unless I give you a deaf ear for long.

The day you completed your 5th month we did havan, sort of annprashan, for you and fed you a spoonful of rice. However you did not like it much. After trying rice for few days , we resolved to moong dal and then khichdi , foods that your brother also loved as baby. But unlike your brother , you hated banana. I realized that I have a fussy eater in making , unlike my elder one. One cannot be equally blessed twice.

You rolled for the first time , somtime in your fifth month but that was only for recording the milestone. You decided not to repeat the effort unless absolutely necessary. Recently you repeated the effort a few times but only on desperate need.
Neverthless you manage to get what you want , by twisting and rotating and then twisting again. If nothing works , you use your vocal cords. Success is all that matters after all.

You have filled our monotonous life with daily surprises. Your smiles make our days bright. Your bonding with your brother , makes life worth.

I so want these days to last longer but I know soon you will half an year old. And in no time you will be half a decade old , just like your brother. Time passes and it passes fast. Grow up well my little one ! Hugs !